currrent prompt: explore how things break, branch, become fractals-- where does the importance in repetition or breaking away from it lie?
Sharp ends [24/07/2024]
My heart has broken twenty nine times and I beg you beg you beg you don't make it an even thirty. It has been broken by boyfriends and ex-friends and current friends and my brothers and father and mother. Maybe my heart is easy to break, so walk slowly, slowly around it, like you would around broken glass.
I have left twenty nine impossibly small shards of my heart behind as a gift to those who broke it. It's a simple, cruel duality, how the ones who break your heart get to keep its pieces. Please, please do not be selfish, do not try to take your share, even though you deserve it best, even though you would care for it better than anyone I have ever met.
I have broken my own heart eleven different times so I carry my own broken pieces like shiny shattered glass. If I move the wrong way they can still cut through me, some more deeply than others, right under my skin, right next to my stomach, some just tickle me if I walk a bit too fast. If you had a piece for yourself you would always be able to pierce me, too. At your word, I would bleed. Please please please don’t go looking for this power.
My heart has been broken and has broken on its own and has left itself behind and grew over the wounds and I can never leave all that has changed me behind. Don’t be jealous, don’t be jealous, you have my own heart, they only have some tiny shards, they can hurt me and bleed me and scar me but you can always heal me whole.
My heart has been broken because it has loved. And I love you most of all so you could break it like no one else. But please don’t, please don’t, please don’t. I beg and beg and beg you — it’s all I can do. You are the only one who can make this choice. I put it in your hands, my heart in your hands, its ragged edges and soft muscles beating at your will. Break it, care for it, cook it and eat it, whatever you wish, whatever you need.
And I’ll love you anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t say it. But I’ll love you anyway.
thoughts about this week
Once again idk if this is really about the prompt. I used some of the thought of breaking and branching but really nothing about repetition and breaking away from it. Or maybe just a tiny little bit. I haven't like my writings lately, but I hope if I keep writing I'll find something in it to enjoy.